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A Good Marriage yields…the fruits of your labor!

27 Jun

Fresh is the bouquet of love

 
 
 

Two, became one

 
I have been told that we (my husband and I) are still in the infancy of our marriage, so when the question was posed asking, why do we “have” to work so hard?
I laughed, thinking to myself “if you have to ask, you are definitely not ready. Well, I could have shrugged the question off or replied, that we don’t work hard, but the truth is “yes we do” and what if it? The benefits of our “hard work” are repeatedly demonstrated for our friends, family and oft-times to complete strangers. A few minutes passed before I politely responded; does one fix a chair only after it’s broken and of no use to the owner or does one care for the chair regardless of age, always looking to prevent breakage? In our marriage we learned early on that we needed to not only plant seeds of love, but also that we needed to cultivate and nurture the place in which we would plant the seeds. Our formidable marriage is the result of our “hard work.”

I would have to say that our “Marriage Maintenance” begin before we said our “I do’s” and it began with truth in our communication. We shared openly our secrets, our rough spots, and even our skeletons. We made agreements, understood compromise, respect and our expectations of one another and our union. We became a committed partners.

                                 “It takes a loose rein to keep a marriage tight.”  ~John Stevenson

Even on our worst day!

One should understand, that marriage is working selflessly everyday, because although we are united as one, we are still two separate entities. We will have different thoughts, wants, needs, but we work to bring those together…that’s our love. There has never been a day in our lives together that he has not put my feelings before his own. His mantra in our marriage has always been “dear whatever makes you happy,” my feelings and my happiness matter to him. I smile just thinking about that phrase and how often he has said it, meant it, and how much I love him for it.

Cuddling, my favorite partner activity

 I have been dating my husband longer than I’ve known him and it is because of this that I can truly say we have become one another’s “best friend.” We still share passion, joy, laughter (oh the laughter), and so much more. What I have enjoyed the most about our marriage is learning how to have a healthy relationship, it was not always easy, but it was definitely worth each of my false starts if it got me here. LOL My husband has taught me to be a better person and I in turn have taught him to be a better partner.

  “Are we not like two volumes of one book?”  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

My/his achievements are our achievements and our failures are our strengths. We do not have individual achievements or goals, partnerships aren’t built that way. We work to strengthen and lift one another, always. There was a time when I was uncertain about what I wanted to do career wise. I changed jobs more frequently than a hooker changes panties, but he was always supportive of me.

His laughter caressed my heart.

When I wanted to return to school, it was at his insistence that I quit working and focused on completing my degree. Later when I was faced with adversity and illness, it was he that held my hand, wiped my tears and quietly prepared to stand and battle in my defense. He has never flaunted my failures or false starts in my face. I know that he has been my greatest advocate. I wanted to learn a new jewelry making technique (to enhance my skills) he too enrolled in the class and was the only male. When women are bemused and impressed with all he does for and with me, I just smile and say ” yep, that’s my husband.”

“Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you.  They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.”  ~Author Unknown
 

It's work, but it is what you make it

 
 
Yes, marriage is work and to have a good one, I mean a really good one you share, sacrifice, you compromise, you pull back and you grow. We learned to let go of the things that could mangle or hold us back. We don’t hold grudges (for very long) and we know that we can always lean on and look to one another for truth. We made a commitment and we honor it not only in our hearts, but in our actions.
 

 As two, we are solid as a rock, but united as one…we have become invincible! We are committing our promise to one another in three weeks. I am both ecstatic and guarded, because one shouldn’t tamper with flawless. 

The first time I heard “Lost Without You” I immediately began to daydream and fantasize about husband and wife things. Later, I played it for my husband, ahem immediately I knew that this was the song that was meant to be our husband and wife anthem. Let’s just say, it motivates us in both words and actions.

Yes, the heart really does matter.

there is nothing simple about complex.

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1 Comment

Posted by on June 27, 2011 in Love Stories, marriage

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

One response to “A Good Marriage yields…the fruits of your labor!

  1. Crystal

    June 28, 2011 at 4:28 am

    This is beautifully written and so very true. Julio and I have been together 18 years now and we have literally grown up together. It is hard work,especially when you start out as young as we did (I was 16) but most definitely a labor of love. I pray that we never lose our respect or value on one another. As for my love for him,I try to follow as closely as possible 1 Co. 13:4-8 best I can 🙂

     

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