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Tag Archives: commitment

Against all odds…

“When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.”  Friedrich Nietzsche

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I prayed for the husband I have. I made a list, I was diligent as I transcribed my thoughts in to words and wrote them creating a list of what “I” desired in a partner. I prayed over my list, placed that list in my bible, and (patiently) waited. At that time, I was in my mid 20’s and many of my prior and current associations/close connections had been linked to and with married couples. I’d like to think that from those associations, I learned how to be a good and better wife, however without doubt I know that those close relationships taught me how to be a stronger me.

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My #1 of that list was “someone who could always make me laugh.” In my youth I was a firm believer that with a good partner by your side you could see beyond a storm as long as you were willing to have one single ray of hope and always laugh together (he does that and so much more). Certainly, I encountered situations that should have left me jaded, but for whatever reason did not.
Over the years I have revisited my list, the list I penned so many years ago (still tucked away in my bible) and noted that as my husband and I have grown and matured in our marriage/partnership, we have succeeded what began as “my” list and begin to create and collaborate a list for what “we” desire not only in our marriage, but in one another as husband and wife, lover and friends…and certainly life partners.

We are two hearts united who have beat the odds, having found and nurtured love creating our own love story.

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**This list I plan to share w/ my daughters with hopes that they will add to it and share it with their own daughters.

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Things that I do when I am lying awake…

awakeIt is just mere minutes before 6am according to the clock on my iphone. I have been awake for the last two hours laying in bed catching up and reading both blog post that I follow and panning new ones. I was awaken by the snow trucks coming through and then I hearing the pitter patter of tiny feet on the carpet (hey, I have mother,s hearing) and saw a tiny head appear in the shadow of my iphone light. After a potty run, a kiss and tucking him back in his bed he had driffted off to sleep and I again lay awake…scrolling. Then I realized that I was 1) hungry and 2) dying to write something…and I managed to do both in just 8 minutes. Smile

 

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Stand Up: A Lesson With My Daughter On Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

CHAPTER 2013 page 19 of 365 Peace, Strength and Courage

Stand Up: A Lesson With My Daughter On Dr. Martin Luther King Jr..

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2013 in Love Stories

 

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Never ask a question….

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The other night as we prepared for bed I asked my husband if I could read a draft of my blog post to him, he agreed.

As I begin to read my eyes trained on my iPad, I spied him transfixed and still as a mouse with my peripheral vision. I thought to myself, wow, I have entranced him with this topic, by the licisiousness of my words, the context of the story…this good. LOL

Once I’d finished reading, I promptly turned to him beaming with pride and bursting with self satisfaction, I asked “how’d I do?” Pointing at my iPad he exclaimed “all that was on one page, it seemed like you read at least two or three pages worth!”

I DROPPED DEAD in a fit of hysterical laughter! We laughed so hard and for so long that we nearly cried. Now, I know the truth behind his motionless attention. I might add it was a mere 249 words in length. LOL

And thus these are the reasons I love this man completely…he makes me smile, he causes me to laugh a lot, he supports my crazy, he nurtures my heart and protects my very soul. If ever I need a hug, encouragement, my years wiped or a dose of reality, he handles all that and more.

Ahem, public pole dancing was his consequence for the blog comment. JK

 
 

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Just a thought…

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I love to write! I totally enjoy sitting down and pouring my thoughts out onto a write background. I enjoy being immersed in my own creativity and imagination. I find complete pleasure in piecing together events in my life, sharing conversations, laughter and my love stories.

I just wish I was more committed, had more time and was proficient in sentence structure, grammar and use of proper punctuation.

I can commit to writing more, but the punctuation, sentence structure and grammar…ehhhh, not so much! LOL

 
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Posted by on July 21, 2012 in perspective

 

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Creating moments and memories.

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MOMENTS…moments are so precious and it’s usually long after they have passed and turned into memories that we become aware of their truest impact on our lives.

When I was a little girl, my Grand who was full of colorful colloquialisms would say “you’re showing the hem of your slip” when our exhibited behavior was less than desirable and if you knew my Grand you’d know that wasn’t too often.

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Posted by on February 23, 2012 in Family, G-baby things, Love Stories

 

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A Good Marriage yields…the fruits of your labor!

Fresh is the bouquet of love

 
 
 

Two, became one

 
I have been told that we (my husband and I) are still in the infancy of our marriage, so when the question was posed asking, why do we “have” to work so hard?
I laughed, thinking to myself “if you have to ask, you are definitely not ready. Well, I could have shrugged the question off or replied, that we don’t work hard, but the truth is “yes we do” and what if it? The benefits of our “hard work” are repeatedly demonstrated for our friends, family and oft-times to complete strangers. A few minutes passed before I politely responded; does one fix a chair only after it’s broken and of no use to the owner or does one care for the chair regardless of age, always looking to prevent breakage? In our marriage we learned early on that we needed to not only plant seeds of love, but also that we needed to cultivate and nurture the place in which we would plant the seeds. Our formidable marriage is the result of our “hard work.”

I would have to say that our “Marriage Maintenance” begin before we said our “I do’s” and it began with truth in our communication. We shared openly our secrets, our rough spots, and even our skeletons. We made agreements, understood compromise, respect and our expectations of one another and our union. We became a committed partners.

                                 “It takes a loose rein to keep a marriage tight.”  ~John Stevenson

Even on our worst day!

One should understand, that marriage is working selflessly everyday, because although we are united as one, we are still two separate entities. We will have different thoughts, wants, needs, but we work to bring those together…that’s our love. There has never been a day in our lives together that he has not put my feelings before his own. His mantra in our marriage has always been “dear whatever makes you happy,” my feelings and my happiness matter to him. I smile just thinking about that phrase and how often he has said it, meant it, and how much I love him for it.

Cuddling, my favorite partner activity

 I have been dating my husband longer than I’ve known him and it is because of this that I can truly say we have become one another’s “best friend.” We still share passion, joy, laughter (oh the laughter), and so much more. What I have enjoyed the most about our marriage is learning how to have a healthy relationship, it was not always easy, but it was definitely worth each of my false starts if it got me here. LOL My husband has taught me to be a better person and I in turn have taught him to be a better partner.

  “Are we not like two volumes of one book?”  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

My/his achievements are our achievements and our failures are our strengths. We do not have individual achievements or goals, partnerships aren’t built that way. We work to strengthen and lift one another, always. There was a time when I was uncertain about what I wanted to do career wise. I changed jobs more frequently than a hooker changes panties, but he was always supportive of me.

His laughter caressed my heart.

When I wanted to return to school, it was at his insistence that I quit working and focused on completing my degree. Later when I was faced with adversity and illness, it was he that held my hand, wiped my tears and quietly prepared to stand and battle in my defense. He has never flaunted my failures or false starts in my face. I know that he has been my greatest advocate. I wanted to learn a new jewelry making technique (to enhance my skills) he too enrolled in the class and was the only male. When women are bemused and impressed with all he does for and with me, I just smile and say ” yep, that’s my husband.”

“Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you.  They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.”  ~Author Unknown
 

It's work, but it is what you make it

 
 
Yes, marriage is work and to have a good one, I mean a really good one you share, sacrifice, you compromise, you pull back and you grow. We learned to let go of the things that could mangle or hold us back. We don’t hold grudges (for very long) and we know that we can always lean on and look to one another for truth. We made a commitment and we honor it not only in our hearts, but in our actions.
 

 As two, we are solid as a rock, but united as one…we have become invincible! We are committing our promise to one another in three weeks. I am both ecstatic and guarded, because one shouldn’t tamper with flawless. 

The first time I heard “Lost Without You” I immediately began to daydream and fantasize about husband and wife things. Later, I played it for my husband, ahem immediately I knew that this was the song that was meant to be our husband and wife anthem. Let’s just say, it motivates us in both words and actions.

Yes, the heart really does matter.

there is nothing simple about complex.

 
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Posted by on June 27, 2011 in Love Stories, marriage

 

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