Baking the cookies…. Laughing Out Loud, at myself for still using this age-old innuendo as a reference to sexcapes. Okay, I consider myself to be relevant when it comes to knowing my way around the “kitchen.” Now, I’m far from an expert, but I can “ahem” hold my own. I bake a “slap yo mama” pound cake that will bring a man to his knees and grill a steak so fine that you won’t care who is watching as you lick the plate clean. However, my specialty where it really counts is in “baking the cookies.”
See, most everything I learned to do in a kitchen started at the knee of my Grand (a wise old woman with many colorful colloquialisms), but baking cookies (giggle) well that was a lesson I learned directly from the men in my life.
Lesson #1 you shouldn’t share your cookies just for the sake of sharing, because everyone will want to get a bite. Be perspicacious when deciding if and when you should share no need to rush into making a rash decision if the cookie is good they’ll be willing to wait. Your job is to make them want to wait and remember a woman should guard her “cookie jar” as if she is guarding the gates of heaven.
Lesson #2 listen with your head and not your heart. The heart will mislead you with all kinds of emotions, however the head is more apt to lean toward logic and good old common sense. Be prepared to have sonnets written by the lying poets who will serenade you with the sweetest words to gain entrance to your cookie jar.
Lesson #3 never sacrifice yourself or your cookies for love when you find yourself in an unbalanced situation. Always be able to make the distinction between love and loyalty to self. Otherwise you will feel as if someone robbed your cookie jar.
Lesson #4 Lay your cards on the table, but still maintain a stern poker face. If you choose to pull up a chair and play the game using your cookies as bait know exactly what you are willing to lose and when you need to pull it all out.
Lesson #5 You and you alone are responsible for your cookie jar and it’s contents…so you may want to consider keeping it locked down until you really have a clear understanding of its authentic value (women often under value the worth of the cookies). Wouldn’t you hate to look up one day and have an empty cookie jar, because you shared its contents with so many who thought “why buy the cow when the milk and cookies are free.”
Read the rest of this entry »