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Tag Archives: marriage

Against all odds…

“When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.”  Friedrich Nietzsche

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I prayed for the husband I have. I made a list, I was diligent as I transcribed my thoughts in to words and wrote them creating a list of what “I” desired in a partner. I prayed over my list, placed that list in my bible, and (patiently) waited. At that time, I was in my mid 20’s and many of my prior and current associations/close connections had been linked to and with married couples. I’d like to think that from those associations, I learned how to be a good and better wife, however without doubt I know that those close relationships taught me how to be a stronger me.

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My #1 of that list was “someone who could always make me laugh.” In my youth I was a firm believer that with a good partner by your side you could see beyond a storm as long as you were willing to have one single ray of hope and always laugh together (he does that and so much more). Certainly, I encountered situations that should have left me jaded, but for whatever reason did not.
Over the years I have revisited my list, the list I penned so many years ago (still tucked away in my bible) and noted that as my husband and I have grown and matured in our marriage/partnership, we have succeeded what began as “my” list and begin to create and collaborate a list for what “we” desire not only in our marriage, but in one another as husband and wife, lover and friends…and certainly life partners.

We are two hearts united who have beat the odds, having found and nurtured love creating our own love story.

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**This list I plan to share w/ my daughters with hopes that they will add to it and share it with their own daughters.

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Perspective…a word with a view!

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A smart girl should only marry a man; who allows her to paint outside the lines, who is willing to play beyond the scope of their bedroom, and who isn’t overly attached to the length of or how she styles her hair.

Certainly, I was fortunate to find a mate who always chooses find the good in me, who opts to laugh with me, but has never laughed at my expense. I appreciate that he supports my endeavors, especially the crazy over the top ones and 9 out 10 times he is right there beside me working to help me reach my intended level of success. In a word, he has been and continues to be my biggest cheerleader.

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Of course, our marriage is a two way street of giving…at my urging he took college courses and surprised himself. He applied for a higher level position twice and was successful. We’ve both had moments when obstacles fell in our path blocking both our view, but never our perspective…we’d face one another, join hands fingers interlocked, smile knowingly and prepare to soar.

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These photos are from Memorial Day 2013 we played like any two kids on the playground…w/o care or concern

 

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“Celebrate Good Times”

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I find it interesting how individuals put so much emphasis on their birthday. They celebrate a week or sometimes an entire month and the really over zealous people celebrate for an entire year.

I have yet to see anyone (I know directly or indirectly) put such emphasis on a wedding anniversary and I was perplexed as to why not…until now!

Welcome to
“MY MARCH MADNESS”
Est. 3.13.2012

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We’ve celebrated the joining of our union everyday this month. We didn’t break the bank, by giving huge excessive gifts, but time and reverence.
We elected to spotlight acknowledgement, forethought, appreciation, nurture, affection and consideration as our daily focus on one another.

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My love for my spouse is one of the things I value and treasure with great sincerity in our union. So, we raise our glasses, sharing our laughter, our silliness and beaming with radiant smiles everyday knowing that dreams really do come do come true.

Celebrate your love not just once a year, but everyday and especially during the month when two became one.

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“a successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”

 
 

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A Good Marriage yields…the fruits of your labor!

Fresh is the bouquet of love

 
 
 

Two, became one

 
I have been told that we (my husband and I) are still in the infancy of our marriage, so when the question was posed asking, why do we “have” to work so hard?
I laughed, thinking to myself “if you have to ask, you are definitely not ready. Well, I could have shrugged the question off or replied, that we don’t work hard, but the truth is “yes we do” and what if it? The benefits of our “hard work” are repeatedly demonstrated for our friends, family and oft-times to complete strangers. A few minutes passed before I politely responded; does one fix a chair only after it’s broken and of no use to the owner or does one care for the chair regardless of age, always looking to prevent breakage? In our marriage we learned early on that we needed to not only plant seeds of love, but also that we needed to cultivate and nurture the place in which we would plant the seeds. Our formidable marriage is the result of our “hard work.”

I would have to say that our “Marriage Maintenance” begin before we said our “I do’s” and it began with truth in our communication. We shared openly our secrets, our rough spots, and even our skeletons. We made agreements, understood compromise, respect and our expectations of one another and our union. We became a committed partners.

                                 “It takes a loose rein to keep a marriage tight.”  ~John Stevenson

Even on our worst day!

One should understand, that marriage is working selflessly everyday, because although we are united as one, we are still two separate entities. We will have different thoughts, wants, needs, but we work to bring those together…that’s our love. There has never been a day in our lives together that he has not put my feelings before his own. His mantra in our marriage has always been “dear whatever makes you happy,” my feelings and my happiness matter to him. I smile just thinking about that phrase and how often he has said it, meant it, and how much I love him for it.

Cuddling, my favorite partner activity

 I have been dating my husband longer than I’ve known him and it is because of this that I can truly say we have become one another’s “best friend.” We still share passion, joy, laughter (oh the laughter), and so much more. What I have enjoyed the most about our marriage is learning how to have a healthy relationship, it was not always easy, but it was definitely worth each of my false starts if it got me here. LOL My husband has taught me to be a better person and I in turn have taught him to be a better partner.

  “Are we not like two volumes of one book?”  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

My/his achievements are our achievements and our failures are our strengths. We do not have individual achievements or goals, partnerships aren’t built that way. We work to strengthen and lift one another, always. There was a time when I was uncertain about what I wanted to do career wise. I changed jobs more frequently than a hooker changes panties, but he was always supportive of me.

His laughter caressed my heart.

When I wanted to return to school, it was at his insistence that I quit working and focused on completing my degree. Later when I was faced with adversity and illness, it was he that held my hand, wiped my tears and quietly prepared to stand and battle in my defense. He has never flaunted my failures or false starts in my face. I know that he has been my greatest advocate. I wanted to learn a new jewelry making technique (to enhance my skills) he too enrolled in the class and was the only male. When women are bemused and impressed with all he does for and with me, I just smile and say ” yep, that’s my husband.”

“Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you.  They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.”  ~Author Unknown
 

It's work, but it is what you make it

 
 
Yes, marriage is work and to have a good one, I mean a really good one you share, sacrifice, you compromise, you pull back and you grow. We learned to let go of the things that could mangle or hold us back. We don’t hold grudges (for very long) and we know that we can always lean on and look to one another for truth. We made a commitment and we honor it not only in our hearts, but in our actions.
 

 As two, we are solid as a rock, but united as one…we have become invincible! We are committing our promise to one another in three weeks. I am both ecstatic and guarded, because one shouldn’t tamper with flawless. 

The first time I heard “Lost Without You” I immediately began to daydream and fantasize about husband and wife things. Later, I played it for my husband, ahem immediately I knew that this was the song that was meant to be our husband and wife anthem. Let’s just say, it motivates us in both words and actions.

Yes, the heart really does matter.

there is nothing simple about complex.

 
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Posted by on June 27, 2011 in Love Stories, marriage

 

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