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Against all odds…

“When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.”  Friedrich Nietzsche

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I prayed for the husband I have. I made a list, I was diligent as I transcribed my thoughts in to words and wrote them creating a list of what “I” desired in a partner. I prayed over my list, placed that list in my bible, and (patiently) waited. At that time, I was in my mid 20’s and many of my prior and current associations/close connections had been linked to and with married couples. I’d like to think that from those associations, I learned how to be a good and better wife, however without doubt I know that those close relationships taught me how to be a stronger me.

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My #1 of that list was “someone who could always make me laugh.” In my youth I was a firm believer that with a good partner by your side you could see beyond a storm as long as you were willing to have one single ray of hope and always laugh together (he does that and so much more). Certainly, I encountered situations that should have left me jaded, but for whatever reason did not.
Over the years I have revisited my list, the list I penned so many years ago (still tucked away in my bible) and noted that as my husband and I have grown and matured in our marriage/partnership, we have succeeded what began as “my” list and begin to create and collaborate a list for what “we” desire not only in our marriage, but in one another as husband and wife, lover and friends…and certainly life partners.

We are two hearts united who have beat the odds, having found and nurtured love creating our own love story.

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**This list I plan to share w/ my daughters with hopes that they will add to it and share it with their own daughters.

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Listen to your whispers

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Yesterday was a very good day. As usual morning arrived early awaking me with a gentle whisper.

Morning, as she is known to me sat back quietly and patiently watched as I drifted back to the warmth of my slumber. After twenty-five minutes, I was awake and refreshed. As I lay there in the comfort and warmth I must admit, I did consider not getting out of bed, but bailing on work, but then commitment entered the room lifted the corner of the bed sheet and pulled them back. Without a word she sat down beside me on the side of the bed and “poof” the thought was gone.

So, as I drove into the office I begin to think about the number of situations we live in yet possess little to no control over in our daily lives. A quiet smile crept across my face, because I knew that this decision was my own and on my terms. I hadn’t awaken in a cold sweat of panic, I wasn’t even losing sleep over my decision. The truth was although I had my concerns, I was also resolute in my decision and prepared to close this chapter of my life.

This job from the very beginning had felt as if I was shoving my size 8 foot into a miniature size 4…it wasn’t a good fit and as time passed the obvious pain and daily discomfort had created more than it’s share of callous on my spirit. Understand, I did not feel as if I were leaving empty handed. I had acquired a profound respect for the clients who entered through our doors, many embarrassed and ashamed, but in need. I felt that I had again acquired tools that would be welcomed additions to my toolbag.

This morning was like any other, except that I arrived to a box of peppermint candy canes and a sweet ice tea on my desk which my coworker had so thoughtfully purchased. Several of my coworkers (and my supervisor) surprised me by taking me to lunch with me. I had accomplished my goal of cleaning all the previous tenants junk out, wiped everything down with Clorox wipes and completed my final work task prior to days end. Throughout the day, I sang a number of my favorite childhood songs many which seem to come from Sesame Street. I started the sing song with Sing, topped with a dash of Mah na Mah na and concluded the day with a showing stopping performance belting Hakuna Matata as I danced around the office inciting laughter and hugs.

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Live life on your terms and never be afraid to say good-bye….Hakuna Matata

 
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Posted by on January 2, 2013 in happiness, perspective, work

 

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Take the next step…Forward!

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Never be afraid to bring something that does not fulfill, strengthen or empower you to a close. Don’t sit by and allow yourself to be drained empty, close that chapter and start anew.

There are far too many of us selling ourselves short by staying in unfulfilling relationships, at dead end jobs, or _______ (fill in the blank) and these are the very things that will pull us under as we continue to be slapped around repeatedly by endless tides.

Please, don’t misunderstand me this isn’t supposed to be easy, anything worth effort rarely is and, after all, you’ve built “it” up, made “it” bigger than life, given “it” your power…ask yourself, really is the “it” all that?

If life is to be lived without regret than you must at some point be willing to fly without a parachute, without a safety net. Go ahead, take a deep breath, jump off the high dive and yes, you should expect to get wet, drenched, maybe even swallow a gallon or more. However, if you’re willing to fight, kick and kick some more…you will survive. And that is the point of it all.

Be the Phoenix in the flame, the heroine of your story, the role model instead of the model, you are your story. All that is required now is for you believe in you!

 

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Where is your Hoola Hoop?

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Here’s a thought, I’m a control freak!

Recently an associate shared a story with me as I was having a stressful day.

A young woman having crap poured into her life from every possible direction, felt as if she couldn’t take another single breath. Being a member of AA she reached out to the only person to whom she could entrust to understand, her sponsor.

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The sponsor listened intently as the young woman rattled off everything that was holding back, pinning her down, going wrong and stripping her of her confidence, dignity and possibly her sobriety. When she finished, the sponsor told her to immediately go to Wal-Mart and call her upon her arrival. As instructed the young woman upon her arrival frantically dialed the sponsors number. In a calm and supportive voice the sponsor instructed the young woman to go to the toy department where she would locate and purchase one single item…a hula hoop. She instructed the young woman to call her back once the transaction was completed before hanging up the telephone.

Anxious and somewhat baffled she went in search of the toy department, purchased a hula hoop redialed the sponsors number. The sponsor answered on the third ring projecting a smile and reassurance in her voice. She then instructed the woman to take her purchase and go out to the parking lot. The young woman frowned, but did as instructed without question.

Once outside, the sponsor told her to take the hula hoop in both hands and slowly raise it above her head. After a few seconds the sponsor instructed her take two deep cleansing breaths and to drop the hula hoop over her body allowing it to fall to the ground.

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The young woman again did as instructed and stood in silence as the hula hoop begin to free-fall from above her head quickly landing on the ground at her feet.

The sponsor said nothing, the young woman said nothing, the curious passerby’s said nothing as they stared with curiosity at the odd young woman. After what seemed like an eternity the sponsors voice crackled through the phone.

Inside this hula hoop is everything within your control and all things outside the hula hoop…well ehh, not so much lay all things beyond your control.

The young woman paused and pondered the sponsors words and then she silently took one step outside of the hula hoop, bent over and lifted it off the ground. She held it tightly in the grasp of her two hands and slowly raised it over head pausing for a brief second before allowing it to rapidly fall to the ground encasing her body in the process.

20120725-110607.jpg …and then she laughed. Here’s another thought…no one controls everything.

Should you ever have a similar moment, feel free to go purchase a hula hoop, raise it high above your head and allow it fall to the ground identifying your boundary of control. Because we all must acknowledge what “WE” are able to control.

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Her secret is, she acknowledges she can only control what is within her        hula hoop.

 

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Standing in the storm

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Can you see the power in these words? Not because of who the author is, (I saw that much later) but because I have been this woman standing in the midst of a storm.

The she who was steadfast on faith and was still standing albeit a bit tattered and wind blown when the rains subsided and the radiance of the sun shown again.

Certainly we all have been this woman in the storm.

From each of my storms I was to gain a lesson and from many I have, not all, but most. It’s been about finding myself/ourselves during the journey, leaning into my/our faith during the storm and seeing how quickly I/we could readjust ourselves during and after the storm and walk into the winds of change.

We are solid and we are these women. Stand strong, the storm doesn’t last always.

 
 

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