Against all odds…

“When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.”  Friedrich Nietzsche

I prayed for the husband I have. I made a list, I was diligent as I transcribed my thoughts in to words and wrote them creating a list of what “I” desired in a partner. I prayed over my list, placed that list in my bible, and (patiently) waited. At that time, I was in my mid 20’s and many of my prior and current associations/close connections had been linked to and with married couples. I’d like to think that from those associations, I learned how to be a good and better wife, however without doubt I know that those close relationships taught me how to be a stronger me.

My #1 of that list was “someone who could always make me laugh.” In my youth I was a firm believer that with a good partner by your side you could see beyond a storm as long as you were willing to have one single ray of hope and always laugh together (he does that and so much more). Certainly, I encountered situations that should have left me jaded, but for whatever reason did not.
Over the years I have revisited my list, the list I penned so many years ago (still tucked away in my bible) and noted that as my husband and I have grown and matured in our marriage/partnership, we have succeeded what began as “my” list and begin to create and collaborate a list for what “we” desire not only in our marriage, but in one another as husband and wife, lover and friends…and certainly life partners.

We are two hearts united who have beat the odds, having found and nurtured love creating our own love story.

**This list I plan to share w/ my daughters with hopes that they will add to it and share it with their own daughters.

 

Listen to your whispers

Yesterday was a very good day. As usual morning arrived early awaking me with a gentle whisper.

Morning, as she is known to me sat back quietly and patiently watched as I drifted back to the warmth of my slumber. After twenty-five minutes, I was awake and refreshed. As I lay there in the comfort and warmth I must admit, I did consider not getting out of bed, but bailing on work, but then commitment entered the room lifted the corner of the bed sheet and pulled them back. Without a word she sat down beside me on the side of the bed and “poof” the thought was gone.

So, as I drove into the office I begin to think about the number of situations we live in yet possess little to no control over in our daily lives. A quiet smile crept across my face, because I knew that this decision was my own and on my terms. I hadn’t awaken in a cold sweat of panic, I wasn’t even losing sleep over my decision. The truth was although I had my concerns, I was also resolute in my decision and prepared to close this chapter of my life.

This job from the very beginning had felt as if I was shoving my size 8 foot into a miniature size 4…it wasn’t a good fit and as time passed the obvious pain and daily discomfort had created more than it’s share of callous on my spirit. Understand, I did not feel as if I were leaving empty handed. I had acquired a profound respect for the clients who entered through our doors, many embarrassed and ashamed, but in need. I felt that I had again acquired tools that would be welcomed additions to my toolbag.

This morning was like any other, except that I arrived to a box of peppermint candy canes and a sweet ice tea on my desk which my coworker had so thoughtfully purchased. Several of my coworkers (and my supervisor) surprised me by taking me to lunch with me. I had accomplished my goal of cleaning all the previous tenants junk out, wiped everything down with Clorox wipes and completed my final work task prior to days end. Throughout the day, I sang a number of my favorite childhood songs many which seem to come from Sesame Street. I started the sing song with Sing, topped with a dash of Mah na Mah na and concluded the day with a showing stopping performance belting Hakuna Matata as I danced around the office inciting laughter and hugs.

Live life on your terms and never be afraid to say good-bye….Hakuna Matata

 

In the beginning…

Everyday, something incredible happens it may happen to me, to you, or even a complete stranger, but something incredible happens.

I was just thinking how nice it would be to be on the making it happen end of things. Three hundred and sixty-five days of giving, listening caring, doing, and sharing.

 

Life…

Can you remember your first bicycle and the freedoms that came with it?

Why not enjoy those freedoms again, the only thing holding you back is YOU!

My mantra…“Enjoy the ride, don’t put so much emphasis on the destination”

 

Sanctuary

It’s 0345 and I’ve been awake since 0215. I’ve decided to climb out of the warmth of my bed and come sit on my deck for awhile. I’m hoping after writing for a spell the sandman will show up and lure me back to a peaceful sleep.

One of my small joys in life is sitting on my deck. It matters not if the sun is shinning or it’s raining cats and dogs, I love sitting out here and just getting lost in the thought of not thinking too much. I try to come out here every morning for 5-20 minutes (spring/summer only) and just sit. This is time that I’ve dedicated to talking with God, my Grand and most recently, my aunt.

It’s funny, but I’ve always referred to this space as my sanctuary; my place of peace and understanding. Oddly, anyone who HS known me for ten minutes can tell you, I’m not the outdoors type, but this is different.

My backyard is comfortable, I’ve worked hard to create an oasis for myself that I sometimes share with others. A few years after purchasing this house. I (yes, I) created a water feature back here, so sometimes I just sit and listen to the water…I’m a fire sign who loves water sounds and sights. LOL

During the summer, I pitch a tent back here on the deck and rough it! LOL My husband would disagree that I’ve ever roughed anything in my life.

My backyard is small roughly 600 sq ft with various tree types and a couple of lilac bushes, which I planted many years ago. As I sit here listening to the sound of the running water and the rain drops, I look out across the yard. The trees stand tall in the background huddled close together as if sharing a secret that only they should know here in this yard. My senses are charmed by the faint aroma of the lilac bushes mixed with the rain and I am mesmerized at the sky a mix of indigo and midnight blues, dancing across the early morning sky

In a word, it’s beautiful and I feel truly blessed to have a space, a refuge that is all mine if and when I so desire.

Theabove photo is a day shot of what I call my garden of Eden.

 

Writing, where does it come from?

My ideas usually come not at my desk writing but in the midst of living. — Anais Nin

When I ceased struggling to find something in which to write about, everything became a topic of interest. It was only then that I could discern, weave and create a fascinating and engaging tale oft-times filled with laughter, but certainly always with joy and love.

Given time…I will be, a writer again.

 

 

The sad truth.

Maybe not my best look...

The other day, I woke early (the first issue) played on FB and read blogs (the second issue) for 2.5 hours before climbing out of bed to ready for my monthly doctor visit.

When I emerged from the bath I jumped into my clothing…gym clothes, quickly determined I had ample time to make the drive from the south side to the east side of town.

It wasn’t until I had slid behind the steering wheel ready to go that I noted the position of the fuel gauge reading…empty! It was at that moment in which, I begin to berate myself. How had I forgotten to inform my husband that my fuel tank was nearly empty when I parked it the night before. It is my sole responsibility to update him that he needs to take my car and fill it up.

 

Your view today.

Today I have embarked on a new adventure #a photo a day challenge. I have waited eagerly for nine days to begin.

To day was…”your view today.”

My view…

Today was GB day. We went to a kardio Kids class at the gym and then we baked cupcakes (he was very instrumental in the making of the cupcakes).

We had lunch watched Transformers (which I still don’t understand) and took a nap.

I love my GB days, they give me an opportunity to experiment and test a wide range of emotions, but the day always ends with I LOVE YOU G-ma.

 

What’s in your top 10? A matter of love…

This morning, as I lay atop my husband my ear to his chest listening to the sound of his heart beat. My mind drifting in and out of “happy thoughts.”

I heard my voice saying aloud “this is one of my top 10’s.” He laughed and said “yes, I would believe that…I believe you enjoy getting me all hot and bothered as you lay there, fully clothed keeping me from the goods.” LOL

 

Our life plan…is to grow old laughing and loving….2gether!

 

…you hurt my feelings!

 

g-pa and the kid!

 

A smile crosses my face as I write this blog, recounting the exchange between my five-year old g-baby and I today on the staircase. Upon returning from his Kardio class I instructed him to remove his shoes and to carry them and place them by the stairs.

I wanted the shoes up stairs for convenience and practicality. His mom picks him up and uses the main door and our shoes were wet from the snow. We enter through the garage, remove our shoes and I did not want him tracking through the house. So when I asked him to take his shoes upstairs it should have been a simple request

It seemed to me that my request was “simple” and very clear, but what followed gave me great pause.

The child proceeded up the stairs and when I turned to ask him if he had removed his shoes as requested, he attempted to push pass me and go up the stairs. Now, this is where it gets sticky. You may have guessed that as his grand…I am taller, stronger and possess far more character than he has acquired in his mere five years of life…apparently he did not get the memo.